When One of Us Hurts by Monica Vuu

Author:Monica Vuu
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pan Macmillan Australia
Published: 2023-06-18T03:37:41+00:00

MARIE

Howard at the Door

An old black-and-white re-run plays on the telly while I mash on chewy, bland pieces of bread. If I could live like a mouse, inside the walls of a house – my old house – that’d be nifty. I’d live on bread, cheese and milk. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything except where to find my next meal. Yes, I think I’d like that. I’d live in my old bedroom, with my pretty flowered wallpaper. Perhaps I’d discover the flowers were real – dewy and downy-soft. Sweet-smelling and fresh on one side, but faded by age and sunlight on the other.

After Ben died, I spent a lot of time looking at those deadened flowers. A single night felt like it could’ve been three days or three weeks. I wanted to stare forever. I wanted to lie under the covers in that room with the floral wallpaper and stop time. I felt like I wasn’t ready for whatever came next if I moved from the bed.

I did get up, eventually. I went into our kitchen. I turned on the tap and saw I was standing in a puddle of water. The sink was leaking. I debated whether or not the sink needed fixing – could we get by without one? We needed the sink. We’d already lost Ben. We couldn’t live without a sink. I walked around my kitchen, leaving watery footprints behind, wondering who could fix it. I thought I’d call Robbie in Belgium, even though I was still cross with him. He’d always been better than me at dealing with the unexpected. Robbie would know what to do.

He almost flew in for Ben’s funeral. He had wanted to be with us after the accident, but he’d just found out his girlfriend was pregnant. It wasn’t as if a pet had died – like Quibbles. It was Ben! And Robbie was the one who’d set us up. He knew Ben. When I mentioned this, Robbie got short with me. ‘I know, Marie, and I want to be there, but I can’t leave Julia here alone,’ he argued. ‘She can barely get around by herself.’ I know it wasn’t fair, but I pictured Julia grunting like a pig trying to un-wedge her blimp-like body from the couch. I hated her for letting herself get so fat. ‘Fine, but don’t expect me to be there for the birth!’ Then I hung up on him.

I stared at my sink for a while longer before finally dialling Robbie’s number. Surely he wasn’t still angry with me. The phone rang a few times and I almost hung up before I heard him, ‘Hello?’

My mouth opened. Nothing came out.

‘Hello, hello?’ he asked again.

‘Hello. Robbie?’

‘Marie? Hi. How are you doing?’

‘My sink is broken.’

A pause. ‘I’ll have someone come by and take a look at it.’

I wanted to ask if Julia was still pregnant. Could he leave her yet? I knew it wasn’t the right thing to say, so I hung up.

The next day, a plumber showed up.

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